Death of a Master

March 12, diagnosed with terminal lung cancer at the age of 56.

Fastforward to May 15ish and put into Palliative at Lady Minto Hospital not thought to live long. Bedridden. On the 18^th Lama Phuntsok was summoned to the bedside for long life prayers, prayers of compassion and would give Leon the mantra Om Mani Padme Hung to chant meaning “The light is in your heart.” – THAT NIGHT Leon begins to walk around appearing that all is well. He would continue walking and talking like this while having family visits, touring the island on day trips (even “escaping” from the hospital for his own 3 hour walking tour) and enjoying drives in the van as a passenger.

May 31^st he takes a turn for the worse and completely loses his voice and begins struggling to breathe.

 

June 1^st my mother has a conversation with him detailing their life together, the love they shared, the great times, that all will be well when he leaves and that he is free to choose his own time to exit this life.  Shortly after this conversation he falls into a DEEP clear, quiet sleep with no struggling – like a baby. SIXTEEN hours of deep sleep later he would wake at 6a on June 2, 2013.

Upon waking I (Gaurang) sat with him at his bedside and shared a practice of powa in the Tibetan tradition – simply put, visualizing a diety or light in the sky in front of you then visualizing your heart as light and fusing the two together to become one – a practice of purification. At roughly 645a Mom (Catherine – his wife, my mother) decided to go home to collect some things. I told her that likely Leon, out of his love for her, would choose to leave his body when she was not present. With this awareness and acceptance Catherine decided to give him the space to take this time.

For the next 1h15m I would sit in meditation on Leon’s hospital bed while Leon breathed quietly. I chose the purification mantra of Vajrasattva to chant out loud in rhythm with Leon’s breath.

As Leon’s breath shortened I changed to simply Om to match the exhale. As Leon exhaled I would continue to match it with OM, periodically hearing OM sounding from Leon’s voice. As the breath became shorter and shorter I would let out short bursts of air to clear the pressure in the chest.

At the completion, opening my eyes, I looked over to Leon who opened his eyes wide and looked squarely at me; slowly he closed his eyes parting his mortal body with no struggle, no holding, simply from one moment to the next letting go peacefully, fully aware and consciously choosing that moment to depart.  My mother returned less than 3 minutes afterwards. She said she would have been there sooner but was held back to sort out balancing coffees and overnight bags – probably Leon’s doing.

 

For the next 2 hours we would continue prayers. On the 3^rd hour Lama Shenpen arrived to lead a Chenrezig “The Lord of Compassion” practice (once in English, once in Tibetan) At 1145a as we finished the pujas completely he was still warm to the touch and only began to become cool at the completion of all pujas.  At the 5^th hour when the funeral home came to collect Leon’s body he would still be warm to the touch of his head and back. Beautiful! A True Master! A true inspiration to all! That we may all be blessed with the courage, grace and bravery at meeting the moment of our final exhale as Leon did would be a true testament to a beautifully completed circle of life.

Forevermore I will remain inspired by Leon’s conscious choice of exiting at the moment he chose for himself in a beautifully relaxed, calm, clear mind.  Not for a moment did he struggle, shake, twitch or move – he calmly exited his mortal frame. Leaving behind a fully intact body as he left it. Beautiful.   Thank you Leon for blessing me as a witness to a True Master. OM Mani Padme Hung.

 

Comments

[Gillian]

Thank you for sharing Gaurang. What an inspiration indeed. May we all be so blessed to die consciously with the loving support of our partner, family and spiritual community. You both have shown such strength and courage through what must have been a very challenging process. My heart goes out to you and Catherine. I know his presence will be missed. Om
with love, Gillian

[David Miller]

Beautiful and Awe Inspiring Gaurang ... much love to you and Catherine <3

[Namrata]

Wow....how beautifully articulated. I felt as if I was there in that moment with you both. Thank you for staying present and centered in those last, very precious moments of life with this brave soul, your step-father and your Mother's beloved husband! I am so happy to hear that his transition was one that was FULL of peace and serenity. The love that you held there with him is a love of deep compassion. This, I know was felt by him subtly and was helpful in his passing from one moment to the next. This is so inspiring to hear....death does not have to be filled with fear or anxiety. In the presence of those that love us, and with the strength of the spirit, we can transcend the moment of death with peace. My heart is with you and your mom at this time. OM Mane Padme Hung

With Love,
Namrata

[Neil]

what a gift G!
on so many levels.
thank you for sharing.
with love and respect,
neil
om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung om mane padme hung ..............

[Ky]

thank you, Gaurang.
thank you.